only forward from here.

Jump to Comments

Cigarette butts strewn across what look like once-maintained flower beds and the splatter of coffee that was not washed away in the rain this morning cover the grounds in front of a revolving door and a wall of lights. Outside of Poor Yorick’s and the awing of Evans Library, I am alone. Well, not entirely alone. There’s a slew of people inside the building, all trapped in their books, haunted by Shakespeare and derivations and probabilities, principles of gravity and aerodynamics… I am no less chained by being outside. Bleary eyes show the strain of battles lost over the course of these few weeks, realizations and revelations that have come too late or not at all. It’s a hazy early morning, and fear is threatening to push my thumping heart out of my chest. I do feel as if it’s about to give in – I’m light headed and slightly dizzy – I don’t blame that emotional little organ. I would run away from this too, if I could.

The fear of abject failure comes easily at five in the morning.

I have a math test in 3 hours.

And if I don’t pass this…

well.

It won’t be pleasant.

I’m trying to accept that there are aspects of this situation I can no longer control. I am desperately trying to soothe my worried mind. It’s not easy doing that on no sleep.

So, a song from the Weepies to begin the day. Or continue the day, as it is in my case:

Yesterday, when you were young,
Everything you needed done was done for you.
Now you do it on your own
But you find you’re all alone,
What can you do?

You and me walk on
Cause you can’t go back now.

You know there will be days when you’re so tired that you can’t take another step,
The night will have no stars and you’ll think you’ve gone as far as you will ever get

But you and me walk on
Cause you can’t go back now
And yeah, yeah, go where you want to go
Be what you want to be,
If you ever turn around, you’ll see me.

I can’t really say why everybody wishes they were somewhere else
But in the end, the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself

And you and me walk on
Yeah you and me walk on
Cause you can’t go back now
Walk on, walk on, walk on
You can’t go back now

“Can’t Go Back Now” – The Weepies

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized