I pulled in to Sonic tonight at 7.22pm. I was exhausted (I still am exhausted) from being up until 1am waiting on news regarding Nick’s sports injury, and then from being on my feet all day. It took all my energy just to stretch out my hand and push the little red button.
“Hi, welcome to Sonic, America’s Favorite Drive In! My name is Josh, how can I help you?”
I need a…
I need a Coke. Good, old fashioned fountain Coca Cola, but the new pressures I’ve put on myself to be healthy had me thinking. Coke, or Diet Coke? Coke or Diet Coke? Coke or Diet Coke? Coke…?
“Hi, welcome to Sonic, America’s Favorite Drive In! My name is Josh, how can I help you?”
Coke.
Large Coke.
Perhaps my judgment was impaired due to the aforementioned reasons, but deep down, I know why I went with the empty calories.
People who drink Diet Coke are crazy.
You know them (and to be fair, it’s not all of them). They’re the ones who can drain a Diet Coke before you’ve even unwrapped your straw. They say things like, “I’m hungry, we should go eat,” drink a Diet, and then pick at their meal. And you know that the only reason they wanted to “go eat” in the first place is so they could have a Diet Coke out of a fountain as opposed to out of the cans that they have stashed in their purse, wallet, car, desk drawer, etc. At (insert your local grocery store here), these people make a beeline for the Diet Coke so they can pretend that they’re stocking up for a party or some such nonsense. They’ll get fruit and multigrain cereals so that the other people in the store don’t think that they’re desperate junkies, but we all know that those pantries contain enough dry goods for the next national food shortage, while the fruit moves from the fridge to their eco-friendly compost pile uneaten, week after week.
They’re the ones with the shakes… accompanied by frequent, hurried comments like, “I just haven’t had any caffeine today,”; “My headache will stop in a minute, I just need a Diet Coke,”; “Have you seen my phone?” (which they’re holding in their hand); and the best: “I’ve only had four or five today.” They’re the ones who are always carrying around those red and white cans, and you get this eerie feeling that it’s not the can you saw five minutes ago. Don’t kid yourself. You’ve seen the signs.
It makes me wonder… what’s in that stuff?
I don’t envy you, Diet Coke fiends. Perhaps you’re a few pounds lighter, but I’ve got my sanity.
2 Comments
October 28, 2008 at 7:48 pm
BAHAHAHAHA!!! So true! Have you been spying on me? I don’t have the shakes though, which is surprising. I know, you miss me.
Oh, and I’m drinking one right now.
October 29, 2008 at 2:14 pm
when i worked at Sonic we had regular “diet coke ladies” who would come in multiple times a day for ROUTE 44s. craziness.